You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Short Jokes
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
Keep yourself safe!
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Where did Sora go during Nagasaki?
Everywhere.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Do you play COC?
Because it’s a pretty good game.
South Tower: Man, that was da bomb.
North Tower: No, that was da plane.
Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
