Short jokes
Megamind.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
I'll start: Monokuma.
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"
What did the pickle do on the road?
It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"
Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.