Short jokes
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."
What's green and smells like joemama? Shit from a cock.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
His gay ass dad.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.