Short jokes
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
What's a bison's favorite gun?
A PP Bizon.
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
Eat frozen orphans, it's ğøöđ.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
A... B... Sea?
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.