What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
Short Jokes
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
Wanna see my pp again?
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
