Short jokes
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Wanna play dolls?
I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"