Short jokes
What comes after 69?
Period.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.