Short jokes
Your dad must be a mailman.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Are you choked?
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
I love still things.
For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
LAMO.
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
Glip gloop glap.
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
"Knock knock."
"Come in."
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.