Short jokes
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?
"Wrap it up!"
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
What's a rapper's favorite DESSERT?
Rhyme-berry pie.