Short jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.