Short jokes
I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Where did Sora go during Nagasaki?
Everywhere.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.