Short jokes
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.