Short jokes
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I am the danger.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.