Short jokes
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
IBC.
IBC who?
I'll be seeing you later.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
My sister is so short she can't walk.
My hopes and dreams.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.