Short jokes
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
Papaumamaumau papaumaumamau.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
Takis.
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!