Short jokes
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land doesn't wave back! 🤣
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...