Short jokes

Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Why was the emo jealous of the orange?

It came precut.

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.

Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!

These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.

Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.

Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?

They didn't because they ate it.

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.

What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.

What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

Thank God I went on the tenth.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.