Short jokes
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?
Because she had a make-up exam.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!