Short jokes
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?