Short jokes
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?
Because she had a make-up exam.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
What animal lies? A lion.
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!