Short jokes
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What country did Indians invent?
Curry-a.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
I joined the military for the group showers.