Short jokes
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.