Short jokes
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
How do birds pay? With their bills!
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
The joke is u.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.