A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Short Jokes
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
May.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
Listen to the autism song on TikTok.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
