Short jokes
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
They are hairy.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.