Short jokes
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
*walks in store* OH LITTle debhehe's!
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.