Short jokes
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.