Short jokes

Short jokes

Kid

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

Slut

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

Racist

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

Crime

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

Kill Streak

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

Shot

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

Atom

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

Leak

We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.

Death

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

Bed

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

Smell

Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?

Mama

Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!

Mama

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"