Short jokes

Short jokes

Baptism

You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.

Man

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

Dick

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

Orphan

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

Tag

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

Life

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Hairline

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

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  • Hairline

    What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?

    The hairline is way straighter.

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  • Democracy

    To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

    Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

    Knock

    Me: Knock knock.

    My Grandma: Who’s there?

    Me: Interrupting cow.

    My Grandma: Interrupting c-

    [Dies from heart attack]

    Mom

    Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

    Girl

    Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

    Plus, she's too young to smoke.