Short jokes
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
Yo Mama so fat that when she took a photo of herself to get it printed out, it took 15 years to finish!
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Why is the koala not a bear?
It doesn't have the right koalafications.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.