Short jokes
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Midget
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Teachers: Whenever thereβs a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no oneβs in here!
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein FΓΌhrer ist steckenbleiben in meinen ZΓ€hnen."
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.