Short jokes

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.

Genie: Your wish is granted.

Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?

What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

Paper.

How is everyone? I just started school. Sixth grade, yeah!

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?

A: AIDS.

What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?

I don't know. I forgot.

What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!

Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.

My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.

Fuck y'all, orphan lives matter!

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...

I wish my grass was edgy...

then it would cut itself...

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."