Short jokes

NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

Because they don't know what age rate they are...

Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?

I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.

Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.

Someone stole my balls :(

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)

Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.

Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!

Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!

I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?

Heaven always has 5-star reviews.