Short jokes
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Who do the United States owe trillions of dollars to?
Jew-piter.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.