Short jokes
Ali-A
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
Elsa got a boyfriend, and the boyfriend wanted to try anal.
She wasn't too keen, but she just lay back and shouted "INTO THE UNKNOWN!"
Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.
Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall.
Who do the United States owe trillions of dollars to?
Jew-piter.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
Why don't you use a dull pencil?
Because there's no point. 😐😑😑
"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.