Short jokes
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
This person has Down syndrome.
Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!
Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.