Short jokes
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
"Hee hee touch my pp."
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
What the fuck is wrong with people?
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
Omnom.
You know Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' these balls.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Like if you think oily men are hot.