Short jokes
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Why couldn't the rape victim run away?
Because she was dead.