Short jokes
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
It’s me back at it again.
The earth was flat till they buried yo mama!!!
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.