Short jokes
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
I find all these obese jokes horrible.
Don't you think they have enough on their plate?