Short jokes
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.
Balls.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.