Short jokes
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
What kind of mask are you wearing?
An Elon Musk!
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”