Short jokes
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?
Yo mama can be found on Google maps.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
Kyle's penis is small.
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?