Short jokes

What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?

Morgan.

For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.

If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.

Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?

A: She hit an ambulance.

Why did Jerry fall off the moon?

Because he got hit by a fridge.

My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.

At least now I can have his phone he left.

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?

A bone-étit.

What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?

Raped an eight-year-old girl.

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

No scope, bitch!

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfi.

Most annoying thing...

When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...

Balls.

Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.

Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.

Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.