Short jokes
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."