Short jokes
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.