Short jokes
Mÿ pp.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.