Short jokes
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
Mÿ pp.
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.