Short jokes
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
If you read this, you lost your v card.