Short jokes
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.