Short jokes
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.