Short jokes
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.