Short jokes
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"