Short jokes
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
Look - it's the lake of whiz!!!
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Hey ummm help!
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.