Short jokes
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.