Short jokes
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!