Short jokes
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
Hehe.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.