Short jokes

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What do you call a Muslim and an Arab in a plane?

Pilots, you racist fuckers!

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.

I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.

I fucking love rhubarbs.

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

Ashten Parkes

How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?

There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

The amputee: -_-

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash.

Who is the blindest person in the world?

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.

What do orphans be on Halloween?

They be themselves.

Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.