Short jokes
Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.
My friend: How?
Justin: Justin!
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
It's a tower.
No, it's a plane.
Me: Nope, it's 9/11.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Thank God I went on the tenth.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
He had the curse of vanishing.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.