Short jokes
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
You're just big and good.
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.