Short jokes

If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.

What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

Why did the orphan go to the playground?

To see if it could find its parents.

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?

Uhhhh ohhhhhhh yea (moan).

The F in orphans stands for family...

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

What does LMAO mean?

Launching missiles at orphanage.