Short jokes
Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it.
You may not like me, but you still look up to me.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
Big feet equals mini meat.
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!