Short jokes
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
OMG TYSM FOR HELPING ME REACH 30 FOLLOWERS!
🎆
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.
Everyone else in the office: 😱
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Huggy Wuggy big big Huggy Wuggy big big big big Huggy Wuggy laugh laugh smooch smooch Huggy Wuggy *insert clapping noise*
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
Should I burn heaven?
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.