Short jokes
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
Your hairline is so ugly, it's stretching down to Bikini Bottom.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.