Short jokes
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Funniest Roblox Names I've heard:
ButtNugget123
Lil_RAT (user is actually Sillyowlbunny200)
baddasscarrot44
EggnogRat44
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
Why did 6 eat 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."