Short jokes
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
Noob butter eater.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Where do orphans shop?
Home Bargains.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
Hairline got repossessed.
His hairline doing the moonwalk. Oh, I forgot, he doesn’t even have a hairline.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.