Short jokes
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
What Pokemon is from the Avengers? Throh.
What Pokémon is always disappointed? Wynaut.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
"Hey, what does IDK mean?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."
What did the O say to the other O?
O hi O (Ohio).
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.