Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"You have a great singer inside you."
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys' pants were half off!
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
"Hee hee touched me."
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
