Short jokes

I think my dad loves jokes.

Because he laughs when he looks at me.

You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?

Ice, Ice Baby!!

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?

"Go to HELLakbar!"

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

Bush is innocent, he's white...

Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.

What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.

We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

Your hairline is an artificial fact.

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.