Short jokes
The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
Yo momma so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!
Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.
What's the best song to sing to George Floyd?
"I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.