Short jokes

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

@M3GAN fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucufkcucufkcuckfucufkcufcfufkcufkcuckfucufkf you

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

Hi, I'm cool.

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.

You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.

Why do people play basketball?

Because they want to learn how to suck balls.

Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.

What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?

They both have no meaning.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.