Short jokes
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.