Short jokes
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]