Short jokes
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
I'm holding an African themed party tomorrow. There is no food, and the drinks are 10 miles away!
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
Ii.
My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.
Coooper
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
What does a British cannibal's favorite meal?
Fish and chaps.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!