Short jokes
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Why drink water and not bleach?
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
Your mum is so fat, flat earthers think she's round!
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.