Short jokes
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
What do you call Thanatos' favorite app on his phone?
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!