Short jokes

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?

Batter.

What did the tree say to the depressed kid?

"Stop hanging around."

Hi sisisissisisisisisis.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?

There's no Jack!

What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people.

People love you.

Don't die.

Why can’t Indian women drive?

They’re too used to riding their camels.

My classmates?

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

Don't listen.

Americans: Miles per hour.

Europeans: Bullets per kid...

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.