Short jokes
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
In America, you have Pop-Tarts. We in Germany here have Toastbrot.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.