Short jokes

There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?

Home Depot.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?

If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.

Why do orphans go to prison?

Because that's their only home.

What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."

I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.

How many people fit in a tree?

I don't know, you tell me.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."

What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.

I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.

When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?

How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.